enchanting.

i was driving home from work and a spell of enchantment came over me. i was unstoppably happy and every square inch of our little town held beauty.

i looked at my car as i drove and smiled because it gets me around and i have fallen in love with its wagon body and its ability to hold a summer's worth of possessions for two.

i admired the tidy picturesque houses and the in between of winter and vibrant, summer green lawns.

i drooled over the Blues as they shone in the 5 o'clock sun and i felt blessed to enjoy their view.

i opened the windows and smiled as i saw Kingsley gracefully leap from one object to the next until he felt the cool breeze through his fur.

its in moments such as these that i truly feel renewed. i gain a sense of peace and hope about all the many decisions on our hearts.

i know that my Father in Heaven knows me personally. He finds ways to connect with me and show me that His hand is in everything i do, and in return i will forever strive to find beauty and meaning in His creations.

This post= one big cliche

I'm writing a story that's due tomorrow, and for the first time, I honestly don't quite know where it's going. Probably because it started out that way. I feel like I'm in one of those scenarios where I'm blind folded, holding someone's hand, walking an unknown path where I'm just supposed to let go of control and trust that everything will be okay. (Girl's Camp anyone?) It makes me uncomfortable. I want to crumble it up and throw it in the trash, but it's typed, so... that cliche won't be happening.

I feel like that's how life is, too. I don't know where it's taking us, and even though I know it's going to be somewhere good, it's still tough to just trust that sometimes. We have our dreams, but we need to be practical in planning, too. Even though I would love to stay here this summer and take classes and work, I feel this urgency to have an internship so we can secure a job/work experience for next year when we graduate.

In this situation, I think the ideal thing to do would be to blind fold myself so I will practice having faith, but with a computer so I can fill out applications and be proactive.

In other news, I found this incredibly tiny sock at the laundromat yesterday and it, of course, turned me to mush. Tender mercies, right?

Bigger Dreams.

At the end of the day, in the quiet of the night, my heart's desires are so much different than my day dreams.

No no, it is not to have a closet full of elegant, classy clothing, or to have hair a mile long; it is not to be Emma Watson; it is not to have a big, perfectly Pinterest decorated home; it is not to have so much money, that I need not put thought into every purchase; it is not to travel the world. Albeit some of these things would be rather nice...

It's funny, because most of the time, when asked about my goals I get a little self absorbed and naturally start thinking: I want to get a degree in Writing and work at my own leisure for magazines who pay me to kayak down a river and write about it. Or for Parents magazine, who swoons over my every word about my parenting views. I want to live in Portland in a cottage and someday see what all the hype is about New York City. Etc, etc, etc. But I think there is a little more to life than that.

My goals have much more substance and worth, and are absolutely 100% possible through my Heavenly Father: I want to be completely selfless, making the needs of others genuinely my best interest. I want to have lots of children and make raising them lovingly and righteously my heart and soul. I want to be a patient wife for a very, very deserving husband. I want to be a family of best friends like my own family is.

I want to, and I am working on this, sincerely believe that what I have is enough. I want to have so much Faith in my Heavenly Father, that I don't look down asking why, but always looking up hopeful and patient and trusting in His magnificent, immaculate plan. I want to continue to wonder and awe at seemingly small things that make all the difference.

I want to be Christlike in every way and always see the good in others. No one is purely good or purely evil, and I know I can choose to find and focus on the good in others when I try.

I want to build relationships with those I am geologically close to. It might sound weird, but have you ever gotten to know someone you didn't realize lived so close, and then they moved away, and you thought how good of friends you could have been all along? I long not to be so completely self absorbed, that I cannot go out of my way to bring bread to my neighbor, or try to get to know someone in my church that I didn't know before. All too often I am wishing I were elsewhere, with old friends, neighbors, or family. And while it is okay to miss them, I believe it is important to be grateful for where I am. How are we supposed to know that others have needs if we stay in our own bubble thinking about all the things we wish we had?

I shamefully admit, that I get distracted and sometimes nearly swallowed up by the many distractions around me, and I am constantly fighting a losing battle with social networking, and other "good" things, but there are most definitely "better" things, and the "best" things that I solely believe must be done every day to direct our hearts to what is right. Why, in the LDS church, do we stress reading the scriptures and praying so much? For starters, our hearts are directed to our Savior for those moments, and from there we learn and gain insight and inspiration. With that comes understanding, clarity, and peace. With each passing year I cannot feel more grateful for that escape. Every single day is about building our character and the most minute things are constantly shaping us.

I am a firm believer in education. I feel so grateful to be learning and growing, and that Jeff is by my side through it all. I know the situations I am in are preparing me to be a better wife, friend, and mother. I also firmly believe that when our time on this earth is through, what we achieved on paper will not matter to our Heavenly Father: diplomas, job certificates, and other recognition. I know he looks upon the heart and I want to be able to tell him I honestly did my best to become like Him, however that was achieved.