1990
I was unaware that my five older brothers were swimming in our pool in Las Vegas doing celebratory canon balls at my arrival
1992
They were sure it was broken. My brothers said a prayer at home and my arm was healed before the hour long drive to the hospital
1997
I didn't miss mom and dad as much when Clayton would let me jump on his bed and and dance to Louie Armstrong while eating popsicles
1999
Tyler taught me a few rad tricks and we put on a magic show: Malony the Great
2000
The excitement of the millennium wore Henry and I out so much we fell asleep before the ball dropped
2002
I open my purse to pay for my things and the store clerk sees Joey's senior picture and asks if it's my boyfriend. I blush
2003
Bad hair cut. Chris tries to cheer me up by hesitantly saying a girl's hair wasn't everything. But I knew he was lying and I cried
2006
Starting high school in a town I knew my brother's legacies still lived in. I was different
2008
One more year until graduation. I looked forward to getting a Marmot sleeping bag that doubled as ceremoniously becoming "one of the older kids"
2008
Braces again. Now Henry and I look even more like twins: I couldn't be more proud
2009
Wedding number four: Kyle this time. I knew I'd be next, and dreamed about when that day would come
2010
All of us at the cabin on Christmas Day, laughing and crying as we open the handmade gifts we made for one another
2011
At my wedding dinner: I weep endlessly as they all take the time over the open mic to tell me how much they love me and are grateful for the man I found to take care of me
2012
We're spread out over five different states, but they are still my best friends in the whole world
disclaimer: i don't know if my brother's were doing canon balls when i was born. but we had a pool, lived in LV, so why not?
Friday, September 14, 2012
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
the life of the student.
Writing lists that desperately need to be crossed off; grabbing warm papers from the printer and running to class; leaving the house without a jacket and regretting it as soon as it's too late to turn back; getting to know people you learn to call your close fiends; going to sleep in the cool mountain air; waking up chilly while the rest of the world is asleep; looking out the window wondering what the day holds; dancing in the tiny apartment; looking forward to the weekend like nobody's business; new glasses; weekend trips home; nights out with friends; snacking; lectures you can't write fast enough for; going to bed early; bike rides through campus; completing assignments that once seemed impossible; daydreaming: is there really life after school? In the meantime, this gig isn't so bad.
Friday, August 31, 2012
Bigger Dreams.
At the end of the day, in the quiet of the night, my heart's desires are so much different than my day dreams.
No no, it is not to have a closet full of elegant, classy clothing, or to have hair a mile long; it is not to be Emma Watson; it is not to have a big, perfectly Pinterest decorated home; it is not to have so much money, that I need not put thought into every purchase; it is not to travel the world. Albeit some of these things would be rather nice...
It's funny, because most of the time, when asked about my goals I get a little self absorbed and naturally start thinking: I want to get a degree in Writing and work at my own leisure for magazines who pay me to kayak down a river and write about it. Or for Parents magazine, who swoons over my every word about my parenting views. I want to live in Portland in a cottage and someday see what all the hype is about New York City. Etc, etc, etc. But I think there is a little more to life than that.
My goals have much more substance and worth, and are absolutely 100% possible through my Heavenly Father: I want to be completely selfless, making the needs of others genuinely my best interest. I want to have lots of children and make raising them lovingly and righteously my heart and soul. I want to be a patient wife for a very, very deserving husband. I want to be a family of best friends like my own family is.
I want to, and I am working on this, sincerely believe that what I have is enough. I want to have so much Faith in my Heavenly Father, that I don't look down asking why, but always looking up hopeful and patient and trusting in His magnificent, immaculate plan. I want to continue to wonder and awe at seemingly small things that make all the difference.
I want to be Christlike in every way and always see the good in others. No one is purely good or purely evil, and I know I can choose to find and focus on the good in others when I try.
I want to build relationships with those I am geologically close to. It might sound weird, but have you ever gotten to know someone you didn't realize lived so close, and then they moved away, and you thought how good of friends you could have been all along? I long not to be so completely self absorbed, that I cannot go out of my way to bring bread to my neighbor, or try to get to know someone in my church that I didn't know before. All too often I am wishing I were elsewhere, with old friends, neighbors, or family. And while it is okay to miss them, I believe it is important to be grateful for where I am. How are we supposed to know that others have needs if we stay in our own bubble thinking about all the things we wish we had?
I shamefully admit, that I get distracted and sometimes nearly swallowed up by the many distractions around me, and I am constantly fighting a losing battle with social networking, and other "good" things, but there are most definitely "better" things, and the "best" things that I solely believe must be done every day to direct our hearts to what is right. Why, in the LDS church, do we stress reading the scriptures and praying so much? For starters, our hearts are directed to our Savior for those moments, and from there we learn and gain insight and inspiration. With that comes understanding, clarity, and peace. With each passing year I cannot feel more grateful for that escape. Every single day is about building our character and the most minute things are constantly shaping us.
I am a firm believer in education. I feel so grateful to be learning and growing, and that Jeff is by my side through it all. I know the situations I am in are preparing me to be a better wife, friend, and mother. I also firmly believe that when our time on this earth is through, what we achieved on paper will not matter to our Heavenly Father: diplomas, job certificates, and other recognition. I know he looks upon the heart and I want to be able to tell him I honestly did my best to become like Him, however that was achieved.
No no, it is not to have a closet full of elegant, classy clothing, or to have hair a mile long; it is not to be Emma Watson; it is not to have a big, perfectly Pinterest decorated home; it is not to have so much money, that I need not put thought into every purchase; it is not to travel the world. Albeit some of these things would be rather nice...
It's funny, because most of the time, when asked about my goals I get a little self absorbed and naturally start thinking: I want to get a degree in Writing and work at my own leisure for magazines who pay me to kayak down a river and write about it. Or for Parents magazine, who swoons over my every word about my parenting views. I want to live in Portland in a cottage and someday see what all the hype is about New York City. Etc, etc, etc. But I think there is a little more to life than that.
My goals have much more substance and worth, and are absolutely 100% possible through my Heavenly Father: I want to be completely selfless, making the needs of others genuinely my best interest. I want to have lots of children and make raising them lovingly and righteously my heart and soul. I want to be a patient wife for a very, very deserving husband. I want to be a family of best friends like my own family is.
I want to, and I am working on this, sincerely believe that what I have is enough. I want to have so much Faith in my Heavenly Father, that I don't look down asking why, but always looking up hopeful and patient and trusting in His magnificent, immaculate plan. I want to continue to wonder and awe at seemingly small things that make all the difference.
I want to be Christlike in every way and always see the good in others. No one is purely good or purely evil, and I know I can choose to find and focus on the good in others when I try.
I want to build relationships with those I am geologically close to. It might sound weird, but have you ever gotten to know someone you didn't realize lived so close, and then they moved away, and you thought how good of friends you could have been all along? I long not to be so completely self absorbed, that I cannot go out of my way to bring bread to my neighbor, or try to get to know someone in my church that I didn't know before. All too often I am wishing I were elsewhere, with old friends, neighbors, or family. And while it is okay to miss them, I believe it is important to be grateful for where I am. How are we supposed to know that others have needs if we stay in our own bubble thinking about all the things we wish we had?
I shamefully admit, that I get distracted and sometimes nearly swallowed up by the many distractions around me, and I am constantly fighting a losing battle with social networking, and other "good" things, but there are most definitely "better" things, and the "best" things that I solely believe must be done every day to direct our hearts to what is right. Why, in the LDS church, do we stress reading the scriptures and praying so much? For starters, our hearts are directed to our Savior for those moments, and from there we learn and gain insight and inspiration. With that comes understanding, clarity, and peace. With each passing year I cannot feel more grateful for that escape. Every single day is about building our character and the most minute things are constantly shaping us.
I am a firm believer in education. I feel so grateful to be learning and growing, and that Jeff is by my side through it all. I know the situations I am in are preparing me to be a better wife, friend, and mother. I also firmly believe that when our time on this earth is through, what we achieved on paper will not matter to our Heavenly Father: diplomas, job certificates, and other recognition. I know he looks upon the heart and I want to be able to tell him I honestly did my best to become like Him, however that was achieved.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
If Only.
If only you could step outside of your own self for just a moment and see you.
The way I see you. The way God sees you.
It would bring a tear to your eye no doubt, to see you for who you really are, and not just the angles you see in the mirror, or while you are upset, or realize that even when you're laughing you have flaws: could your smile be any bigger?
It would be a relief: like when you have just cleaned the whole house and you finally get to sit down to see what you have done. Or like turning off the last light in the house before you can jump into bed. It would be like realizing that your sweet, screaming child has finally fallen asleep. Or like getting off of work and clicking your heels together as you run to your car to finally head home to see someone you love. Only better, because it's you! And I dunno about you, but sometimes being "me" is pretty tough in general.
There are several people that I have always particularly admired for being comfortable in their own skin. The people who laugh even if they have a big smile, who make jokes and enjoy their own toes, even though they are strange. Those people who accept your compliment with a genuine thank you. The ones you don't have to pin down, look in the eye and say, "Yes you are! You ARE beautiful! Believe it, or I'll punch you!" :) And I mean the ones who accept it regardless of whether they are wearing a rag or JCrew. The ones who have an iPhone or a phone that, you know, just makes calls and stuff. The one who has thick flowing hair or just an okay amount. The one who has blemishes on their skin, or the one whose skin is glowing, or is so physically fit. (Because I can guarantee, they can tell you why their skin is glowing or just how they got their hair that thick, or their guaranteed workout secrets, but you are you, and for the most part, you are gonna stay that way and have to start loving you for every single thing you see as a flaw in yourself.)
I was one of many Mary Kate and Ashley fans growing up, and I watched a YouTube video when they were about 16, maybe a little younger, and Mary Kate was talking about how pretty Ashley is. She was saying she would look in the mirror and feel so ugly, and then see Ashley and how beautiful she is, and was very jealous of her. Granted they are not identical twins, watching the two of them in that interview, they may well have been the same exact person, because they sure looked/acted like it. Their differences are so minute, and Mary Kate was still able to see them. It shows that even if God granted we look almost exactly like that person we envy, it still wouldn't be good enough. So that is where we come in.
You know those people you love? The ones who have flaws, but you don't see as flaws, because in your opinion they just give them character and you couldn't possibly love them as much as you do without them? Oh, that's just me? Well hopefully you get the picture :) ....because it's time to start looking at you that way.
The way I see you.
The way God sees you.
Go ahead and try. Or even... stop trying if you know what I mean.
It might just work.
The way I see you. The way God sees you.
It would bring a tear to your eye no doubt, to see you for who you really are, and not just the angles you see in the mirror, or while you are upset, or realize that even when you're laughing you have flaws: could your smile be any bigger?
It would be a relief: like when you have just cleaned the whole house and you finally get to sit down to see what you have done. Or like turning off the last light in the house before you can jump into bed. It would be like realizing that your sweet, screaming child has finally fallen asleep. Or like getting off of work and clicking your heels together as you run to your car to finally head home to see someone you love. Only better, because it's you! And I dunno about you, but sometimes being "me" is pretty tough in general.
There are several people that I have always particularly admired for being comfortable in their own skin. The people who laugh even if they have a big smile, who make jokes and enjoy their own toes, even though they are strange. Those people who accept your compliment with a genuine thank you. The ones you don't have to pin down, look in the eye and say, "Yes you are! You ARE beautiful! Believe it, or I'll punch you!" :) And I mean the ones who accept it regardless of whether they are wearing a rag or JCrew. The ones who have an iPhone or a phone that, you know, just makes calls and stuff. The one who has thick flowing hair or just an okay amount. The one who has blemishes on their skin, or the one whose skin is glowing, or is so physically fit. (Because I can guarantee, they can tell you why their skin is glowing or just how they got their hair that thick, or their guaranteed workout secrets, but you are you, and for the most part, you are gonna stay that way and have to start loving you for every single thing you see as a flaw in yourself.)
I was one of many Mary Kate and Ashley fans growing up, and I watched a YouTube video when they were about 16, maybe a little younger, and Mary Kate was talking about how pretty Ashley is. She was saying she would look in the mirror and feel so ugly, and then see Ashley and how beautiful she is, and was very jealous of her. Granted they are not identical twins, watching the two of them in that interview, they may well have been the same exact person, because they sure looked/acted like it. Their differences are so minute, and Mary Kate was still able to see them. It shows that even if God granted we look almost exactly like that person we envy, it still wouldn't be good enough. So that is where we come in.
You know those people you love? The ones who have flaws, but you don't see as flaws, because in your opinion they just give them character and you couldn't possibly love them as much as you do without them? Oh, that's just me? Well hopefully you get the picture :) ....because it's time to start looking at you that way.
The way I see you.
The way God sees you.
Go ahead and try. Or even... stop trying if you know what I mean.
It might just work.
Friday, July 20, 2012
People Are Good.
It was Anne Frank who said, "In spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart."
Yesterday evening I was going through an area I had already knocked, making sure to talk to the people that weren't home earlier in the day. As I was passing homes and noting which ones I needed to stop at, I passed one in particular that I made a note that symboled I had already talked to someone there, and that they weren't interested. The old man was sitting outside, and though I didn't remember what he said, I remembered he wasn't very nice, so I tried to shuffle by in hopes that I didn't anger him again.
On my way walking back to the car I was on the phone with Jeff and the same old man was still sitting outside, but got up and flagged me down. I was a little nervous as he approached me, and very seriously asked me if I was the same girl who stopped at his door the other day asking if he was interested in our pest control service.
"Yes, that was me," I replied. Did he wait there for me to come back? I couldn't help but wonder.
"Well I was very hasty when you came to the door the first time, and I wanted to apologize."
"Oh, it's okay! I understand," I tried to say with a nervous smile. My feelings get hurt so easily, I was almost embarrassed that I even remembered him. I was taken by complete surprise, I thought he was going to yell at me for wandering around his neighborhood.
"No, it's not okay," he replied. "You are a lady and I need to act like a gentlemen."
Then he proceeded to ask me how much it cost, and more about our service. After I told him, he pointed to his pockets and told me once he got a few more shekels in his pocket, he would like to give me a call. I also learned he is 91 years old, living on social security from 1984. Nonetheless, it wouldn't be likely that he would have more shekels in his pocket anytime soon, but he genuinely wanted the service, and wanted to keep us in mind.
Whether he does or does not even give me a call back, I appreciate that he went out of his way for an apology, and it sincerely warmed my heart. Sometimes I joke that I have a place for every single person, stranger or not, in my heart. My heart swells in sadness, and happiness for every situation I encounter. While I run into a lot of people who are frustrated that I interrupted their day, (which I really cam't blame them) I also find people that are genuinely so thankful that I stopped by and can help them with their pest problems.
Last night especially, I needed to be reminded that I can't judge someone solely by the way they react when I knock on their door. This dear old man in particular is a good person, and I'm glad I had the chance to change my mind about him.
So that is why we are told not to hold grudges.
Yesterday evening I was going through an area I had already knocked, making sure to talk to the people that weren't home earlier in the day. As I was passing homes and noting which ones I needed to stop at, I passed one in particular that I made a note that symboled I had already talked to someone there, and that they weren't interested. The old man was sitting outside, and though I didn't remember what he said, I remembered he wasn't very nice, so I tried to shuffle by in hopes that I didn't anger him again.
On my way walking back to the car I was on the phone with Jeff and the same old man was still sitting outside, but got up and flagged me down. I was a little nervous as he approached me, and very seriously asked me if I was the same girl who stopped at his door the other day asking if he was interested in our pest control service.
"Yes, that was me," I replied. Did he wait there for me to come back? I couldn't help but wonder.
"Well I was very hasty when you came to the door the first time, and I wanted to apologize."
"Oh, it's okay! I understand," I tried to say with a nervous smile. My feelings get hurt so easily, I was almost embarrassed that I even remembered him. I was taken by complete surprise, I thought he was going to yell at me for wandering around his neighborhood.
"No, it's not okay," he replied. "You are a lady and I need to act like a gentlemen."
Then he proceeded to ask me how much it cost, and more about our service. After I told him, he pointed to his pockets and told me once he got a few more shekels in his pocket, he would like to give me a call. I also learned he is 91 years old, living on social security from 1984. Nonetheless, it wouldn't be likely that he would have more shekels in his pocket anytime soon, but he genuinely wanted the service, and wanted to keep us in mind.
Whether he does or does not even give me a call back, I appreciate that he went out of his way for an apology, and it sincerely warmed my heart. Sometimes I joke that I have a place for every single person, stranger or not, in my heart. My heart swells in sadness, and happiness for every situation I encounter. While I run into a lot of people who are frustrated that I interrupted their day, (which I really cam't blame them) I also find people that are genuinely so thankful that I stopped by and can help them with their pest problems.
Last night especially, I needed to be reminded that I can't judge someone solely by the way they react when I knock on their door. This dear old man in particular is a good person, and I'm glad I had the chance to change my mind about him.
So that is why we are told not to hold grudges.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Some Summer.
It turns out our summer will be spent sailing selling pest control in Washington. Yes, I am (we are) that annoying person who knocks at your door, asking you questions, and then trying to ask some more before you shut the door.
I wasn't gonna do it, in fact, don't tell me "I could never do that," because that was what I said, too. I kicked back in our twice-as-big, furnished apartment and browsed the internet all day looking for jobs.... for almost two weeks. I wasn't so worried about getting a job right away when we got to La Grande, because I knew there was time and that we still have two more years of school. But here... we have until the end of September and time was ticking.
I am no salesman. I am the opposite, but there are a few qualities about me that I decided I had it in me. And ever since Madeline came out in motion picture in 1998 my motto has been, "I can do anything." If you whisper it like she did, and once in awhile say it aloud, you really can do anything. I couldn't bare the thought of staying home all day earning nothing while Jeff worked until 9 every night in the 100 degree weather.
I repaired rock chips one summer at a tent by the mall and while it was technically sales, I feel that it hardly counts. People approached me though, and I didn't have to bother them in the middle of their car repairs, paint project, family time, or the occasional man opening the door in his underwear, yawning. Nonetheless, I did have to be knowledgable about the rock chip repairing process, and why they are important to repair; I did have to work with insurance companies, and I did have to talk people into paying cash when their insurance was only liability.
I am personable and genuinely interested in talking with and learning about people I have just met. I especially learned that about myself working in customer service for so long. I could change a person's demeanor with just the right comment, and they could do the same to me. I lived for what I called those 30-second conversations that started with small talk; or the occasional person that jumped straight into their life story, current problems. I met the quirkiest, rudest, nicest, most interesting people every day and I will forever learn from my experiences in retail. Again... this is different... but it all helps.
I am personable and genuinely interested in talking with and learning about people I have just met. I especially learned that about myself working in customer service for so long. I could change a person's demeanor with just the right comment, and they could do the same to me. I lived for what I called those 30-second conversations that started with small talk; or the occasional person that jumped straight into their life story, current problems. I met the quirkiest, rudest, nicest, most interesting people every day and I will forever learn from my experiences in retail. Again... this is different... but it all helps.
We are now referred to by the Pointe Pest Control crew as Team Alexander. I know everyone is annoyed with us, because it looks like we are getting more sales than everyone, but really, there are two of us, and expenses don't cut in half when you're married. Somehow, they double and even triple at times. Needless to say, we are doing all right. We have a few number goals, but really, I just want to do my best every single day and not give up. When all is said and done, I will be happy with that. We are praying to make enough to get us through the school year, so we can continue to work at our campus jobs that we love, and focus on schoolwork: the task at hand.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Who Gives a Fluff About the Oxford Comma?
It's warming up everywhere and I feel like the world is getting happier. Personally, my favorite time of the year is Fall, but nonetheless I am pleased by summer's arrival. So much so, in fact, that I can't keep my nose in a book for more than ten minutes without getting distracted. I am writing a creative biography on the life of Ann Wigmore (she is incredible), and it is due via e-mail on Monday. Monday is Memorial Day, a holiday, (sneaky professor's) so thus I can choose to enjoy my holiday at the park with friends, or furiously typing at my computer all just to compose a lousy first draft. As of now, I am choosing the latter, because typing blog posts and dreaming about the weekend is much more fun.
There are only two more weeks of school until finals and I couldn't be more excited. This year for us, summer entails many adventures and I am looking forward to them tenfold. As long as I am with Jeff I am content, but having plans and getting away makes me very excited. Well, most of the time I am content with Jeff. Today he was being a silly pest and I told him to go home, but I can't really do that anymore. Which is way better, so I'll take it. :)
One of my summer plans, beside tackling a long list of books to read, is to start envisioning/outlining what I want to write for my first annual participation in National Novel Writing Month!! I cannot believe I hadn't heard about this until this year, but I am more than excited to do it. Next Fall I will be immersed in great amounts of schoolwork, but I feel that a plan will help me stay on track a bit. With some flexibility, hopefully I can spend the wee hours of the morning writing my novel, rather than finishing homework like this trimester. And if you have any ideas for a novel, I am completely open as of now! The possibilities are endless.
Well, have a great Thursday night, here are a few Photo Booth pictures for you to enjoy:
There are only two more weeks of school until finals and I couldn't be more excited. This year for us, summer entails many adventures and I am looking forward to them tenfold. As long as I am with Jeff I am content, but having plans and getting away makes me very excited. Well, most of the time I am content with Jeff. Today he was being a silly pest and I told him to go home, but I can't really do that anymore. Which is way better, so I'll take it. :)
One of my summer plans, beside tackling a long list of books to read, is to start envisioning/outlining what I want to write for my first annual participation in National Novel Writing Month!! I cannot believe I hadn't heard about this until this year, but I am more than excited to do it. Next Fall I will be immersed in great amounts of schoolwork, but I feel that a plan will help me stay on track a bit. With some flexibility, hopefully I can spend the wee hours of the morning writing my novel, rather than finishing homework like this trimester. And if you have any ideas for a novel, I am completely open as of now! The possibilities are endless.
Well, have a great Thursday night, here are a few Photo Booth pictures for you to enjoy:
Hmm, looks like we've got a singer in our hands, folks!
This little gem showed up in my mail. Don't mind if I do vote for Ron Paul, if he would just pull through!
We were obviously on different pages about the pose.
I've always been told I have big eyes. I think I see it now..
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